I came in and I was out of it.
I was un raveling for real.
I had been drinking.
Probably not slept more than
Two hours each night
For weeks on end.
Help on Fri night.
God I feel awful
For saying what effing tablets.
Just fire me !!
I was unbelievably sick.
The police should have
Arrested me and taken
Me to the ward.
How I escaped is anyone's guess.
And even in hospital
I didn't feel ill.
I spent most of my years
Dampened down, not feeling
My feelings, with any intensity.
That I wasn't frightened
By the disturbances,
Where my world was
Once black and white,
Now there was colour.
Everything was flowing
Thick and fast.
May as well enjoy it.
Because I wasn't going
To be around much longer.
This would never last,
Like everything else in my life.
My self destruction
Had flicked a switch.
And this illness wouldn't
Even let me realise
I was detained under
The mental health act.
Which meant I was
In need of urgent
Medical intervention.
I wasn't sick.
I was once blind
And now I could see.
I was allowed home
After a month. But
That only meant
I Was well enough
To not be in hospital.