Mouse,

I like the baby analogy :-)

I think what sparked my question is that although my T has said it is OK for me to email/ write her. It is ME who seems to have a real problem with it. So,... if I have a problem with communicating with her outside the session--WHY DO I CONTINUE TO DO IT?

Keep in mind that my T does not respond to the emails or letters I send outside of the session. So my sending her the communications requires very little extra workload on her part. I have never requested a reply so this is OK with me. I'm also confident she would reply if I requested one.

I'm wondering..what is really going on with me?....what's the big deal???

I know everyone has different needs/wants, pathologies, life circumstances, etc. I'm just curious about how others view this issue and how much you vacillate about it. I personally spend a lot of time shifting back and forth between Send ----Don't Send.

For those (like me) who waste valuable cognitive effort with the Send ---Don't Send decision, what do you think about?

Honestly, WAY too many things go through my head for such a minor issue like this.

I guess I started this thread as a way of exploring reasons for 1) sending messages in the first place and 2) why engage in self loathing afterwards?