</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Perna said,
Expose yourself, McKell, get down and vulnerable

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Al rightly then...

Why do I want to send a letter or email?
1. Because my head started to explode with stuff that surfaced after the session and just journaling about it didn't relieve the pressure.

2. I want my T to know something that I was unwilling to physically say/discuss in a face to face meeting. (To admit this one is a big step for me, mainly because until recently I was in denial about wanting anyone to know anything about me.)

3. Because the inner me never seems to be able to surface and connect directly with my T in a live session.

4. Because the inner me wants to learn how to express and share my feelings with other, but hasn't been able to figure out how to get past the outer me. I'm hoping that expressing myself in written form will some how magically eventually lead to being able to express myself extemporaneously. (Not sure there is any evidence to support this approach. It has been a purely trial and error activity on my part.

Why do I choose to beat myself up about it afterwards:
1. I feel like I should be able to deal with session fallout on my own with disclosing stuff that many be irrelevant.

2. I feel like out of session communication should be limited to emergency situations (i.e. to prevent suicide, self harm, drug/physical abuse, etc). None of which I am currently experiencing.

3. I am worried that through my writings my T knows way too much about me and this is going to eventually come back and bit me in the *&&.

4. I feel like I'm being a baby, whining about stuff that only I can fix.

5. I feel like I am expressing stuff that should normally be kept to ones self. We all have feelings, thoughts, fears, etc that should be acknowledged and dealt with privately. I'm having confusion over what should be shared and what shouldn't be share in normal relationships.