Last night felt so ****ed up.

Two years ago, after my grandpa died, we went to a specific restaurant with a lot of people, including my grandma, and sat down at a long table. Well, last night, we did the same thing after my grandma had died, going to the same restaurant and sitting at the same table. I hated every second of it. It felt so ****ed up. It bothered me all night and even bothers me this morning.