There are a lot of problems, like I do not understand what others are saying as I am too stressed when I go outside. Take today for example, to write down all the roll numbers of students who were present in our today's physical chemistry class, our professor asked me to tear a page from my notebook and start the attendance record by first writing my role number and signing a few cms after it. It took me a whole minute to understand what he was trying to say and another minute to ask the guy sitting next to me to ask him to tear the page properly because I was scared I may fk up tearing a page.

Now, it's due to all the abuse, all the isolation and all the crap I took up growing. And still do. As a PhD aspirant I am not supposed to be like this, heck I wasn't even supposed to be good at studies, all I was supposed to do is hit on girls, ride geared bikes wearing jacket and sunglasses with jeans, and attending lab work... but I am not fortunate enough for that.

I was supposed to be a normal person, in short. I am not.