Hi everyone. I need to confess and tell my story. And thank you for reading. I am suffering from small penis anxiety and depression. I am 37. y.o. gay guy. Everything was just fine till a certain point. I had a lot of sex, my sexual partners liked it and always wanted to return for more. I was confident about myself, my 6 packs and hot body, my career, my performance and enjoyed with myself my entire life. My penis is average 5.8 inches and it's thin in the middle and even thinner at the base. I was always aware of it and I have never ever thought it was an issue.

But for the past 2 years I keep noticing that my skinny cock have become even skinnier for some reason. Now it seems ugly stick to me. My erections also became weaker. I gradually developed huge insecurity followed by anxiety and panic attacks. I stopped going on dates, I now almost don't have sex and even avoid socializing. I live in a city with a big gay community. Lots of guys flirt with me saying I am hot. It creates tremendous pressure on me because I feel like I MUST present myself as a brutal male and be manly, that I MUST meet their expectations about my size, that my size MUST correspond with my look, and the thought of that very moment when they realize it doesn't, terrifies me creating anxiety. In every random conversation with a handsome guy, whether it is in person at the gym or an event or on social media, I imagine these potential shameful situations that, I know, will not even happen with the 95% likelihood.

This is the only toxic thing in my life that keeps me down. In attempts to find a solution, I first started from reading a lot of useless internet articles such as "size doesn't matter for women", "average is 5 inch", etc. Then I tried vacuum pump. Then I measured my free testosterone which was lowered, and I was prescribed injections once a week, which I still keep doing. Nothing helped. Further, all this made me look inside myself, reassess my values, realize that I lack of meaningfulness in my life. Now I go to yoga at 6 am 3 times a week, I read inspirational books, I think about how I can change my perspective and perception of this problem. Finally, I've been going to therapist for 2 months now once a week but not helpful so far. Sometimes I have enlightenments when I don't think about it for like 10 days. Those days are the blessing for me, it gives me hope. I feel like I am myself again, but shortly everything returns. I am desperate and I cry and cry and cry.

Maybe there's someone with experience or a specialist here who can advice or comment what’s going on with me, do I have chances and what else I can do to snap out of it? My biggest dream now is to accept myself as I am. Thank you for reading my story.