I know this thought is not new or just limited to myself ….

Life is like a river …

there are the rapids , when all we can do is hold on for dear life and be swept along by the current , ending up , we know not where …

there are eddies where though , calmer than the rapids , we still have forces twisting and turning us .. holding us back … limiting us from going where we want to be …

then there are the quiiet pools … time that the current slows to a crawl … where we are able to navigate in any dirrection we want to go … this is the area when the mind slows and there is time to contemplent life …

I have no time to think in the rapids … am distracted by the eddies … but the quiet time … the pools of my life … are truly scary … with no distractions my mind turns in on itself … when I reflect where I have been … what I have done … the desire to go on just seems to flow away like the water of the river …

such an irony … the quiet calm times are my most dangerous time …

last night was just such a night … not depression … no sui thoughts … just a sense of disconnect … almost a feeling of being outside myself … a true melancholy …

peace to you all … Tigger