Maybe I should be the classic borderline and blow your phone up with a million calls and also call you at 2am. Why should I welcome you back with open arms? Would you like me to pay the next two months up front so you can put a deposit down for your next Christmas holiday?

We didn't have a session on the 31st, because you messed up the dates you gave me. You made this so much harder then it had to be. You emailed back after 5 days to say you're coming on monday- what this monday? Monday next week? I'm angry and I hate you for making me so weak in this need for you. Of waiting for emails that just aren't coming. I wonder what you would have done if I had written the fact that I was really struggling. Why even bother to pretend you're here for me you're not. I need you now.

So this is what healing looks like? Well I don't need it.