I think that it gets a bad rap because no one wants to be like this. No one wants to be devoured by something so much you hardly can tell if they are going to be the same person one day to the next, one week to the next, or one month to the next. Mental illness is a strange fixture and it doesn't really make sense. It scares people who have to witness it and is even scarier for the people who have it.

My mom and dad shun me like we live in some kind of high class society, and my sister constantly makes fun of me which I used to think wasn't bad because I can take a joke. Now I think it's just pathetic: she spends a lot of time and energy into it.

I used to get from my doc that people are too absorbed in their own lives to notice it, but that isn't true at all. Even when I'm with people who also have some sort of mental illness, they judge me for having schizophrenia. It's not like I wanted it. It's not like I prayed for it. Genetics is what happened. Stress, too. I threw a five year pity party for myself which was awesome to behold. That s*** is done.