So sorry for your loss. I wouldn't know what to do without mine. We had a bout of cancer just this summer which brought this all to the core front for me. Now we are on a five year surveillance program. Please take care of yourself and stay as active as you can. It will help. Try to do something at night to ease the loss even read a good book. Everything is worse at night for me. Depression, illness, it doesn't seem to matter. Things are just worse at night.