Thanks, Hun, but I hope to NOT have to deal with death so closely for a while. That's the last of the parents.

As for the inlaws growing up, I don't think that's what it is. It's all coming back to me know. Now I remember I never did like them! About 20 yrs ago, I had the offending party over for Thanksgiving dinner. The BIL has ALWAYS been an %#@&#!. That particular Thanksgiving, I caught him undressing my teenage daughter with his eyes and his body language. Luckily, he was enconsed in the den, spread out all over the couch, watching the ball game. I asked my daughter to stay out of there until they left. As for my SIL, even hubby says she's a first class *****. Of course, he's layed off her since their dad's been sick just because he's a kind soul.

He and I had a talk when he got back from making the arrangements last night and he told me "baby girl" didn't want me at the memorial service. I had no plans of going. Think I said it before. She told hubby she had her reasons, but wouldn't tell him what they were. I really don't give a rat's *** what she wants or doesn't want. What she thinks or doesn't think. It's the fact that hubby didn't stand up for me that has me teary now. There was only once that he told his family that if they didn't like his choice in a wife, they could keep their distance. If they accepted me as their DIL, then they had to accept my kids as their grandkids. M&FIL did. Seems "Auntie Jean" never did. She makes a clear distinction between our youngest, which is "ours" and our oldest, which is "mine." Wish I was as big a person as David. He doesn't care what she thinks. He's going to the memorial service only to support hubby. To him, anyone else is extrenious. Wish I could do that. I can't... and I won't.

Now I have to remind myself that hubby avoids confrontation at all costs and it's not that he doesn't love me. It's really tough because what I crave most of all in this life is validation. Maybe someday...