I SH'ed for the first time since June and I cut more than I normally do .It was right after I was talking on skype to my sister and my father walked into the room to take the phone of her. One comment from him just calling me a ***** sent me spiraling. I wanted to go deeper, and my thoughts were I want to die- but it was the idea of getting stitches from doctors at the teaching hospital where I was likely to run into someone who has taught me put me off. If I had pills I would overdose.

I wish I never emailed you in the first place. I see the woman in an hour and 3 mins because I've already paid her and after that no more therapy.

Have you heard the song Heavy?

"I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same
And I drive myself crazy
Thinking everything’s about me
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on
So much more than I can carry"

It's been a year since Chester Bennington killed himself.