I'll just have to cope with the fact that I'm different. That's absolutely the worst and hardest thing ever, something I hate from the bottom of my heart. I never asked to be different!!! I just want to be normal and average in all aspects of life. Being average was my childhood dream.

I had an alternative reality in my fantasy. I lived as the most average, most common and normal girl you can imagine. She wasn't "special" in any way. I always wished I could be her.

Sorry everyone for bothering you with these rants and my little pity party. I'm not like this in real life. In real life I am. Always this strong person who always pretends everything is all right. Before starting therapy I never allowed myself to feel anything. I hope you don't think I'm a negative and complaining type of person. This is just the first time I'm admitting this problem to myself and I'm allowing myself to process. And I really have no one to talk to except for my T and you guys.