I call myself an alcoholic (I say I have an addictive personality: food, alcohol , internet) but don't want anyone else to call me that. Maybe I feel it is a judgement on their part, judging me.
I don't want to be judged.
I already feel ashamed of a behavior, when I choose to drink and drive. Usually I have only had a few and I am very close to home 5 blocks, neighbor hood blocks, 25 miles per hour blocks.
I am embarrassed by how much weight I have gained. I look in the mirror and wonder who is this woman????
anyway.
I wonder if this rings true to other people who suffer with addictions?

lunch today was a mix up of healthy food and not so healthy food.
I was on the north west side of lafayette, scott LA. Home of the best boudin balls in the area. So I had to stop for one but ended up ordering 2, one regular and one pepperjack cheese. they were both delicious! After that I went to sandras health food cafe and had a piece of veggie quiche.

For dinner I Had a good meal tonight of chicken fahitas the 2nd meal from the food box meals. tomorrow is sweet and spicy chicken teryaki over rice.

I passed the witching hour for beer, small cravings when I saw hubby having one.
I have said that I was not going to drink until friday when we go to pensicola for a quick trip for 2 nights. It is kinda like a last hurrah before hubby goes back to teaching, and to celebrate our wedding anniversary which is the 24th.
We made it to 22 years!
So I still have time to think of some gift for him.
I am terrible at gift giving.

After dinner I went to planet fitness and walked on the tred mill for 75 minutes. 60 of which were on a 5% incline. I went 3.5 miles, and actually sweat a bit. Then rewarded myself with 10 minutes on the hydro message bed.

I am a bit hungry maybe have a fudge bar for 40 calories.
I am missing seinfeld but will catch the second one at 10pm.
my neck is a lot better about 80%. don't know if it my arthritis or
muscular, probably both.
All in all I saw 3 clients today and had another area frozen off of my fore head it did not take.. Last monday I had 10 areas frozen....dark sun spots from the sun.
I am considering have more cosmetic surgery, light therapy maybe laser. My face is riddled with scars from acne and rosacea spider veins on my checks I still deal with acne.. I hate my complexion.
Will see, it is expensive!

Hubby says to do it.
He is a good man and am very lucky to be married to him
bizi