My response is a bitter one and I don't wish to upset anyone, so perhaps the whole rest of my post should be considered to be under a trigger warning. Please be careful of reading if you are happy with your relationship with your T. I certainly don't wish to disrupt that.

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I did not feel deceived by the therapeutic relationship, nor that there was anything seductive about it. But I did think from near the start, and still think now (after a disastrous termination) that it is like emotional prostitution. Long ago I said this to my ex T, and he said there were aspects about the relationship -- the financial side -- that also made him uncomfortable.

I think the reason for the obsession (and it is an obsession) with boundaries, on both sides of the relationship, is that this is a very difficult if not impossible thing to navigate without harm to either or both parties. Therapy is extremely useful; therapy is extremely unnatural. It is intimacy with a stranger. Hopefully the boundaries protect everyone, but often they do not. And many times the boundaries themselves cause the harm.

I do understand that while a person can be paid to be present or to listen, they cannot be paid to care. I know T's do care. They genuinely do -- but the money, the industry, the institution is what has power. They may be paid to terminate you, to limit contact with you, to enforce boundaries in some way that doesn't fit them or you. Neither of you have control -- the financial arrangement has control. The therapy firm at which your T works has control, their governing body has control, the colleague they consulted with has control. The structure of it does not belong to you or to the T, any more than a relationship does in prostitution. There are rules, and the rules protect the institution of therapy. Not you, and not your T.

I had seriously considered going back to school to become a therapist myself several months ago, something which at the time my ex T seemed enthusiastic about, but I am done with it now. It did help me tremendously. It also ended with the worst thing that has happened to me in 20 years. Normal human relationships may not have such potential for healing, but neither do they have such potential for harm. So for my part, I am done.