i'm sorry guys.. i am so terribly ill with a chest cold... i cant write a lot. Ask soli.. i was dumb as dirt in chat.

wanted to say thank you.. i mean when i say you guys have kept me going.. you guys and T

i appreciate it

he left tuesday perna

t says i need to avoid talking to him.. not answer the phone, etc
i am trying but i am not strong enough.. blurting out that it was over was kind of random and i dont know how to do something this planned.

i am confused by T.. he says he knows that i "cant" about some of this, that he wants me to think about what i might be able to do eventually.. but he doesn't tell me which things he knows i "cant" do and so i am confused and sometimes i feel like i am failing somehow.. maybe pressured? Not getting it right maybe.

but T has been a rock thru this.. made himself very available... has been encouraging and supportive... said a lot of meaningful things..

ok

i have to sleep. i cant breath. headache. fever. coughing and losing voice.