I too try to fix the past.

Just the thought of becoming a doctor gives me so much pain because it requires fitness I do not have, and it is not my fault even by a bit I do not have it. And it's a big fk you to me because it isn't only for me I want to be a doctor... and people call me stupid for that. Let alone be a doctor, I cannot have a productive life.

(In case you're wondering, if I have given up once again, nope, Imma still give the medical entrance exam, but I am posting here my thoughts on my depression.)