I can't tell or force you to leave him. But that fact that you feel like this is highly concerning. It'd be one thing if he and his family showed any signs of being respectful and cooperative with you, but they're not. A family should be supporting, caring, and trustworthy. No one should feel obligated to do anything in a relationship. It should just come naturally.

Sometimes that feeling is a result of anxiety, but it sounds like your feelings of emptiness are legitimate. That's so much you had to go through; coming here and typing this all out was not easy for you to do!

There's been trends of your SO not following up with his promises/not supporting you, and his parents clearly emotionally abuse you. I think you had every right to "snap" when you did at his mother, but that's just me

PM me if you ever need to vent. I hope you take some time to consider what YOU want and what's best for YOU (and your children). I'm sure you want to stay with your husband for your kids, but do you think they'll be happy having his parents as their grandparents? They don't even believe they're your kids!

Tiny Beautiful Things is a great book, a compilation of advice from Cheryl Strayed. Here's an excerpt that I think is powerful to read.