Seriously. My body has been falling apart since then or maybe it started when I was 32. Haha **** if I know. The past 3 years have seem to melded together. Go back a bit farther and just don't turn 30 lmaoooo. Hurt my back at 30 and it's still not right. I swear. I finally get my mind right and my body decides to fall apart. The bipolar isn't as bad as it once was so I guess that's something. Still have blips here and there, but man I feel crummy physically. Since last December there's been a snowball effect of what I'm allergic to, which is so not cool. My arm feels like it's coming out of the socket by my shoulder a lot. My ankles are ****ing up. The migraines are getting worse. I feel like I'm running a low grade fever all the time. Sometimes it feels like my blood pressure drops, but at least I catch myself before I end up on the floor. My hair is falling out. In the morning, my nose runs for a good 2-3 hrs. My vision keeps ****ing up so it's pointless to get glasses because I'll never know what strength I need of said glasses when I wake up in the morning (yes I went to the eye dr, he said my eyes were fine). Random bruises keep popping up and disturbingly enough, they're getting bigger. My brain is mush and if I don't put things in my phone I'll guarantee you I'll forget about them. I'm tired all the mother ****ing time, even on nuvigil. The ulcers in my mouth won't go away. I get heart palpitations. There's probably other stuff I'm forgetting but my brain is mush today.

But hey all isn't bad. Since I quit eating everything I'm allergic to my skin cleared up. I've also lost 40 lbs since December, so I guess getting sick isn't all that bad. I do need a new wardrobe though. ha.

I did get some lab work back from a health screening I went to back in May today, where they paid me $75 to draw my blood and do a few other tests. I guess they were collecting data for something. idk I needed the money. But it showed my progesterone, Free T3, and Vit D levels were all low. Also that I'm allergic to onions and rice, which is good info cause I didn't know that before. Been stuffing my face with onions so I guess I should stop. Probably one of the reasons I've been feeling poorly. ha. I'm also mad cause I just bought some mother ****ing rice. I supposed I should stop eating those bean and rice burritos. lmao.

Anyways, life can suck, but oh it can suck worse. At least there's 300Mpbs internet (I can still hear the noises that dial up made) and I can get any show I damn well please to watch on my fire tv. It's nice since I don't go out much anymore. Sometimes you have to be grateful for the little things.

Here's to hoping I feel better by 35. Don't have much hope for that to happen by 34 since that's in October. One can dream though.

And yes, I've seen a dr. Have been seeing drs since December and if I have to see one more god damn dr that doesn't believe me I might ****ing lose it, so don't suggest that. ha. I have seen 6 drs and they just shuffle me back and forth. I even tried my OBGYN but got brushed off and lost it in his office. So there's that. I see my GP in September and will talk to her then. She's the only one that listens.