im shaking , cant do anything. my best friend was ripped away from me 4 months ago and FEELING anything but numbness has been so hard since. crumbling under the weight of my own existence. its worse knowing my parents will hurt me soon. just not ready for that. not right now. I'll break. I'm breaking. Again and again.

maybe its better off this way. i was stupid to ever let myself get attached. I know better.