I really wish I could talk to someone who understands what I am going through. My family doesnt understand me. They are all at a pretty good weight, and I am very obese. I binge eat like crazy, late at night in secret. I used to try to throw it up, but that was way too gross. I know it is a bad coping skill, but I don't know what to replace it with. I would go for walks, but Im so heavy it hurts. I went to my dr today, I wanted the lapband surgury. She said she would never say yes to that because of my depression and what she calls an eating disorder. I am going to a OA meeting monday, but Im really nervous. I really don't know what to do. She said I can die if I dont lose weight. Oh God! and I just ate half a 9 inch pie! and a meatloaf sandwich! I am so stupid!