Warning: this may be a trigger for anyone who has lost a parent or someone close to them.

I learned that my ex fiance's mother just passed away. He and I have not been in touch, but I learned through others.

I feel very sad for him, despite all the toxicity I endured with him. She was his last close relative in the family, besides his grandparents, with whom he lives. His mother wouldn't let him live with her when his grandma kicked him out last year & made him homeless, because of how manipulative and conniving he is. But he forgave his mother anyways, and continued a relationship with her. His mother was only 51 when she passed. Her life was cut very short. She wasn't that much older than me.

I feel an enormous amount of compassion all of a sudden due to this, but conflicted feelings as well because he was such a complete nightmare and abusive towards me.

WHY should I even care that much???? I cannot help but feel sadness and sorrow on his behalf though. I know how much he must be hurting. And despite all, I kind of feel bad for him.

Now, despite that, I am NOT going to reach out to him. He is far too toxic, and I won't let myself go down that road again.

Anyways, I am not really looking for advice or anything. I am just really more so writing this to express my sadness, and am wondering if it's strange to feel sadness for someone who abused you? I knew his mom a little bit and had talked at length with her a couple times on his behalf. It's all just very sad to me.