I think I want to find someone who really loves me. Someone who will wait until we are married or at least engaged before having sex.

The first time I had sex, I thought I was in love, but I guess I wasn't. I'm pretty sure he loved me though. I broke his heart breaking up with him. He just couldn't accept it at first. I bet he would have waited until we were married. It was my idea to have sex, not his. I made all the moves. In the end it just wasn't meant to be. I never grew attached to him.

I'm starting to think maybe there is something wrong with me. Maybe I can't attach to people? I don't know. I worry about this. Anyone who loves me deserves love from me as well.