Honestly not sure what to say dear. As I can understand how you feel, ditto...

But I see so much in you. I have read many of your posts, not replied to much as words just don't come easy lately.

You are worth more than giving in. And time can be on your side as you will continue to grow. One thing about time is it never stops. I can feel the pain as I read your posts and I am so sorry for all that you have been through. It makes sense to us when we feel this way to give up and say to hell with it all. But we all know you are worth more than giving in to this illness.

Society sucks!! They have this unrealistic idea of what we should all be. But we are all different. Take anyone for an example. Just pick a person that you may know: can be famous or someone you see as a successful individual. At any given time in their life, illness can hit them. It could be bipolar, cancer, any type of illness. How do you think they would deal with it? I am sure they would have many feelings of hoplessness as well, as they are human. We can't just wish illness away, it would be a perfect world then. And as vindictive as this may sound: its others that place this stigma on mental illness that I wish would hit them. I don't like to say things like this as I dont like to see pain and suffering. But its those in this world that need a reality check--and a harsh one at that. Lets see how "easy life is" for them.

So not that this helped any, sorry dear. What I am wanting to say is that I do feel for you in the most sincere ways I can. And I hate to see you hurting like this. If I could come and let u yell and scream: just let this out, I would be there in an instant. Keep talking here as I do think you will find some comfort and relief as others can relate and empathize to what you are going through. We don't judge you, but do feel for u.

Thinking of you cottoncandy. Hang in there!!!

Justy