There are several types of mistakes in life: ones that can be fixed and ones that can not ever be fixed, example: you hit other car, you can fix both cars and even make them better, but run down someone and dies, you can never ever bring that person back to life,
My mistake is the second one, I will never ever be able to apologise to my father for my mistakes, and he has passed away. It is killing me from inside and the thing that helps me is knowing that I was misinformed about my father from when I was a child, and I grew up that way, I only found out is after his death when things started to show. I know for sure my father knew this and he had his pride to let me find out this way, not by influencing me (which I wish he had) but now it is too late. This is a mistake that I can not ever fix no matter what I can do.
Thanks for your comments, I appreciate it.