My wife tells me to talk to the retirement-process people, to see if I have enough money to retire. My memory has been crappy lately, and it bothers me, so she tells me to set up an appointment with a neurologist, to see if it's normal aging, or something else. I love her, but her rational answers are not helping me right now. I have all these things to do, that I've been putting off. Every day I forget to do something or many things. I thought that getting better rest would help, but today I am just as anxious and upset as I was yesterday. I can't stop ruminating about the changes at work if I stay, and the fears and anxieties if I retire. I try to put my mind to something else, but it always comes back to all the CHANGES going on. Now, I know life is about change, and how we act/react to change, but I just want to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head. I am literally shaking. I can't go home; I have to be here in the office, and do the things I need to do. I called my T, asking if she had time for me today or tomorrow, even though I'm pretty sure she won't have time for me today. I try to tell myself that it is anxiety and depression talking, but I still feel like an idiot. Yesterday I reserved a room for my wife and me, for a nice family tradition we do in September, but I booked the wrong (expensive!) room, so now that's an extra thing I have to do: cancel the reservation and make a new one. IT'S ANOTHER THING. ALL. THE. THINGS. Sorry this post is so long; thanks to all of you who read the whole thing.