Quote:
Originally Posted by SalingerEsme
Reading this, I felt a visceral sense of anxiety for some reason. I don't usually, and follow your T posts with interests. I got worried if he is struggling with some real feelings for you? Things seem reversed- like you stopping the session and he is seeking eye contact? I love how honest he is and accountable- like saying it bothers him too that consciously he doesn't see you in opposition to his family but he is scrutinizing the incidents. I don't believe my T would share at that level, and I think it is great yours does.
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I appreciate those thoughts Esme. I think you are probably picking up on my anxiety actually. I felt very unsettled by the lack of resolution to the session. I usually have a crap week when I don't have a rounded session and that's proving true already.
As for the stopping the sessions - we talked about that today actually. I have ended every session for the last 3.5 years. He said today thst I'm very careful about the boundaries and we talked about how I do seem to feel responsible for everyone's boundaries in every aspect of my life. It makes me quite a naggy parent sometimes and I also slip into it sometimes on PC come to think of it, calling out 'unsupportive' posts when it's not my place to do so. I think it stems from my mother's inability to hold safe boundaries. So it's something I do for my own safety. Going over a couple minutes is very unusual for me though. As for the eye contact, I think he was anxious about the ending. He knows how hard it is for me when the session is unresolved.