What you feel is what you feel! You can say and do whatever you need to, but it could get harder if you want to make up later, the "uglier" you've been. My stepmother and I use to say horrible things to one another and I wish I'd done things differently in my teen years.

You don't like your mother. You may love her but you don't like her. If you can keep those separate it's a little easier to deal with putting up with someone because we love them. My therapist asked me who I liked and then why I liked that person and I gave three reasons. She then had me apply those three reasons to my stepmother and they didn't fit. It was a relief to know I could love someone without liking them.

Do you have a therapist? That might help you sort things out.