Sometimes I wonder if I have autism instead of bipolar, but I don't know if the autism diagnosis is worth it. I mean, what are you going to do? Therapy helps provide you with coping mechanisms, and honestly, it seems that mood stabilizers and stimulants are the main course of medication treatment, even if there are no "approved" medication treatments. But anyway, I'm on both meds already (Lamictal and Ritalin). Sometimes antipsychotics are used as well (Rexulti for me).

The flat facial affect, the monotonous voice, the poor eye contact, the anger/frustration, the picky eating, the sensory issues, the isolation, the social avoidance, the poor sex drive, the obsession with numbers, the Masters degree in Computer Science (which is a common field that aspies like), the OCD-like symptoms... (I actually have an OCD diagnosis.) All of those symptoms make me suspect that I have autism because all forms of schizo have been ruled out during recent testing. Plus, autism runs in the family. So sometimes I suspect I don't have bipolar, even though doctors have suggested that my grandma had bipolar 1.

I don't recall ever being manic, even though I've been depressed a bunch of times. I've had sleep issues, but many people with autism have had them.

My therapist says Ive had pressured speech, hyperactivity, and delusions, but I don't believe it. I think she's wrong and misunderstands because of my facial affect issues.

I've had 3 evaluations and 3 have said bipolar 1, but I think I've misreported symptoms by accident because my first eval ever said NO to bipolar. That, or the doctors have gotten confused by my symptoms since it's hard to diagnose autism. But I don't want the bipolar diagnosis if I don't have it. I mean, I don't care about the autism diagnosis, but I DO care about the bipolar diagnosis.