See here what is confusing me about about this warm conversation concept. Some how I feel like I don't deserve it, or that I am a burden on someone if I call them up and want to talk about something that is bothering me. I won't call friends up just to talk, I usually have to have a specific reason to call. As for therapy, I feel like I need a specific problem to solve. Some how the idea that it is OK to want something just for purely selfish reasons or for simple pleasure is NOT OK for me. Therefore unless I am in a complete crisis I feel guilty about contacting my T. Honestly, I feel guilty for even wanting 1 hour every two weeks with her.

Perna you simply asked ...who taught you this? And I really don't know. I'm not sure if it is something that I was taught in really early childhood and just stuck with me. Or if I just created this distortion some how myself. I don't think it was my parents, at least not directly. My father had problems, but I always felt he loved me and don't recall him not thinking I was important enough to spend time with. Mostly what I remember is that it was ME who did not respect or want to be around him. As for my mother, she was very burdened by his problems, but she would have bent over backwards to have a relationship with me. But for some reason, this relationship never developed. I do not remember ever talking to my parents about anything (boys, sex, problems with friends, fears, wants, personal goals). It was always, hey what's up...see ya later. Even when I try to remember back to earlier times, I can't remember running to them when I was hurt, seeking a hug when I was lonely,.. nothing.

This makes me think, maybe my inhibitions and fear of intimacy is self generated. I don't recall seeking comfort and being rejected. It is really weird!