Quote:
Originally Posted by Balthascar810
After my breakdown, I eventually admitted I needed to relax. David would say, chilled day today. Then be on his way back out to work. I felt miles better than pushing myself to do things. And I learned to not compare myself to others. And ignore my mum's moods.
I watched the extras and directors commentary on my favourite dvds. And realised that I was going to have to wait for the dust to settle before I even thought about what came next.
But filling my time wasn't all that hard. I did some cleaning, seen Fred a lot, met pals in pub on Fri, and went for a jog. Just did normal run of the mill things like getting stuck into books, films and music.
I tried to draw but it was too intricate for someone who had a major major major mother of all breakdowns. I needed to start small but time was of the essence. And I didn't have the space either. I would feel guilty for "sitting around the house all day" when it was really me needing to rest.
I turned down the art therapy because I thought it was based at the hospital, and I didn't want to be reminded of being really ill. That's why I refused.
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It was my decision to keep my distance from my new friends. My new friends never wanted to do much I toughr.They called on me, and I made up excuses to stay in and watch films instead of pointlessly wandering the streets. One of my pals said she would rather be bored with her friends when I went out more.
I had done things of the same nature that upset other people the way you upset me. But girls show off like boys. Especially as teens. With my parents I was bound to rebel at some point.
I had no business being so passive aggressive with you. You had grown up and were genuinely pleasant to me. I feel awful because you probably picked up that I was hostile for a reason.
I don't need to say I was messed up and heading into rehab. Don't pay attention to a word I said at the time. And I wish you all best for starting a family if you haven't all ready. Goodbye.