Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Lulu
So how did the meet up go? Might be helpful to reflect on it. Maybe it wasn't as bad for you as you were imagining? I can dredge up the dreariest of scenarios, almost none of which never happen :-)
Mostly though, I hope you find a way to create a life that feels better for you, more fulfilling. Doesn't mean you have finish school or get to grad school. Maybe that isn't your path, maybe it never was. One of the most important things in life is to be true to yourself and what is right for you. Unless you are a person is pretty honest with themselves, it takes a lot of stillness and deep introspection to know yourself and to find your way and not be influenced by what others are doing/saying. And tolerate some trial and error :-))
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Well, it was actually going fine until the end. What I had feared had not happened, but a classmate had caused some bad emotions that I was just getting rid of because of a fight(mostly words, with another friend) that took place about a year ago. And the fact that his telling of what happened there was not exactly accurate did not make it better.
I didn't want to go where it was easier for me; I wanted to do what I loved even though it was tough and pave my own path. No one forced me to choose this branch of engineering, but I did so because I loved what I chose. It makes me sad that I couldn't do any of these things, and with everytime I fail, hope and confidence take a big hit.
I feel worse because mostly my mom (and my dad too, but a little less)is more influenced by what others say and do. For them, it's hard not to, I know that. It's been getting to me too, but I'm trying to keep it at bay to not much avail. No matter what, it is a little hard not to hurt when you can't catch up to the person you have studied with in the same class.