I am sorry for what you are going through. I have been there! And it is difficult to get out--but you need to! Not just for you but for the kids. I'm sure you've heard it before, but they will grow up thinking this is an okay way to treat people or be treated. It took going on anti-depressants for me to get my thinking on tract and quit reacting to him. Reaction is what he likes, and he is getting it. Start acting instead of reacting. The meds cleared my thinking so I was able to do that. Mine never physically abused me, but the physical threat was there. And he did beat his ex-wife. (I learned later). The chance he will change without counseling or slim to none. I left mine twice, and each time I went back the crap started again even sooner than the last time. Third strike he was out, I never went back. He even told me early on that I needed to be on meds, when I was and he couldn't get the reaction he craved from me, then he told me I needed to get off the drugs! Please seek a counselors advice.