Could the weekend just around the corner be giving you anxiety? In an anxious way because we start to process too much information at once. I say this because I'm a wreck when I'm in a tight squeeze, therefore hence my sudden confusion and lacking the ability to function on a satisfying level.

I too wish they left me to die that one night that changed everything. I was drinking myself to death (not eating and sleeping) and I blacked out with a bottle of vodka and a lit cigarette in the other hand. When I woke up in hospital two weeks later of liver failure, I thought I had died and gone to a better place, but that was just a sexy nurse that sparked my interest in one last attempt at making decisions and choices that affect my me. I know it's a long shot give or take 3-5 years.

I'm still looking for this mysterious "love". I thought I found it, but she was just a hobby (believe me when I say I'm holding back). Anywho... it's time's like that what you're experiencing to find a crack (no drugs) and you will get through this.

Draw it all out on paper and stick to the plan. In this case I would reevaluate every single thing and tackle one at a time.

You've got this