Um... I am wondering why you are asking whether you're being unreasonable and selfish when your husband has put his hands on you in anger, using physical force on you to pin you to the bed. That is physical abuse... I am not criticizing you, I am just wondering where your thoughts are. I assume he is also abusive in other ways. Perhaps you should instead be asking the question, why am I enduring this abuse? I am also guessing he is the controlling one, accusing you of being controlling. That is also abuse.