I don't think anything bad has to happen to one, "benign neglect" happening to a child when adults are preoccupied with their own lives will teach the child they have to take emotional care of themselves. That's just the way things are. But that's not the way things have to be and the child doesn't learn to "connect" with others in a intimate way and that intimacy can be wonderful. Because it's not what someone is use to for the past 30 years, it can appear quite frightening because it requires a different skill set, the connection and expectation of warm conversation set, and anticipation of how good that can make one feel. Such closeness is eyed with suspicion when we haven't ever had it.

I think that is what therapy is for, to teach us other, rewarding ways and skill sets. I wouldn't take from my T for fear of being consumed by my stepmother and losing myself. I suspect you aren't comfortable because it is strange to you, you haven't had connection in any depth with someone else. It's like putting your toe in the pool to test the temperature and other tactics kids use when they're expected to get in and learn to swim. But swimming doesn't happen in one lesson. It took me nine years to finally do the simple, warm, human conversation thing with my T; to trust that when I tell my stories others will welcome them and I will be okay because I know me and my stories so everything else is just gravy (the warmth and connection from telling others). I suspect you have stories, McKell, but just haven't yet learned to access them or tell them to yourself or others.