The times I have used my actions to try and 'communicate' with T, I'm the one who was always disappointed or burned. My T is not mind reader and will usually not know what I am trying to communicate by cancelling or not showing up to a session. When she doesn't 'get it', then I'm the one who is hurt - not her.

I have to communicate with words, and I expect her to do the same. "I'm not coming to session Fri because I just need a break from you for a bit." is something I might say. Then I know she has received my message. If I just cancel - she has no idea why I'm not there, and my message has fallen on deaf ears.

Good luck to you. It's hard.