Have you considered whether he might be on the Autistic spectrum? My partner sounds very much like yours. He is impossible to talk to about feelings and his answer to any unhappiness I raise is to dismiss my viewpoint, blame me for everything and then just pretend that nothing has happened so there is never resolution or improvement. He refuses to see that his behaviour causes a lot of problems but I recognise a lot of Autistic traits in him. It's not an excuse for everything, but it might be an explanation worth exploring.