My husband is uncertain about it because it is evening hours. I'd be gone probably from 2:30 to 11:30 or midnight considering the commute, which will put a lot of strain on him at home caring for our daughter. It would be very disruptive to our lives, and he works so hard. He is stressed out because his school has a lousy principal and poor organization. He has a Ph.D. and can only find work teaching high school. He has gone from job to job, layoffs as NASA downsized, startup companies that failed, it doesn't look good on a resume. He has no 1st author journal publications which is HUGE in getting a job teaching at a university level (community colleges tend to only hire adjuncts, the pay is worse than teaching high school). He went to Rice, got his Ph.D. under Rick Smalley (won the Nobel prize for the Buckey Ball & start of nanotechnology), but Smalley (deceased) gave his graduate students no support and made them compete for first author publications. My husband doesn't have the personality to be ruthless like the others in his lab. Rice University in Houston gave him a Ph.D. with 0 first author publications. Getting my Masters at the University of Houston (much less prestigious) required 1 first author publication, and Ph.D. candidates needed 2-3 to graduate. I don't want to even work in that field any more. I am not sharp, and most of the jobs are in Houston with a God-awful commute of over an hour in bumper to bumper traffic on freeways (gives me a panic attack to even drive it).

We did the calculations. Once January comes around, we'll be paying full-cost for my pdoc visits. That alone is a fortune. If we need a car repair, air conditioning repair, or an appliance goes out (and the way the refrigerator is sounding, it just might any day now), we won't make it.

Is the disruption to my daughter's life even worth it? All they have are night shifts, so including commute, I'd be gone from 2:30 to 11:30 or midnight. I'd barely even see my family. It was my old pdoc's opinion that I should not work out of the home after the failed research job I tried in Houston because of the panic and anxiety & depression nearly ending me up in the psych hospital again. So I don't know.

I'm all panicky & anxious again today and need to go to the pharmacy and pick up my medication. Ugh.