Hello Wesly: I see this was your first post here on PC. I'm sorry you're only now receiving your first reply. Welcome to PsychCentral. I hope you may yet find PC to be of benefit.

You wrote that you know what most people's advice is going to be & you said not to give it. You also wrote that if someone's advice was for the two of you to break up... don't give that either. Given the parameters you set, in all honesty, I'm not sure what you thought you might get here.

At the beginning of your post you offered some background on your personality. And it sounds as though you have had some struggles. I guess the only thing I can say here is that, perhaps, what you need to be doing is to be seeking the services of a psychologist or mental health therapist with whom you can explore, at-length & in-depth, what has been & is going on with you in terms of your own mental health, how that is impacting this as well as other relationships, & what you can do about it.

As you so correctly observed, the only person you can control is yourself. It may well be that your gf would benefit from some mental health therapy too. But you have no control over that. What you can do is to make the decision to do what is necessary in order to heal yourself. And, by doing so, perhaps you may also save your relationship with your gf.

I used to know a guy who was fond of saying: "If you want to know which way the bullet's going, look down the barrel of the gun." If you re-read what you've written here, particularly with regard to your own mental health struggles, you will see what you can likely expect your future to look like if you continue down the path you are currently on leaving your own mental health struggles unaddressed & instead casting about for remedies to the problems they have created. Believe me, I know something about this. I has, to a large extent, been the story of my life. Please don't follow in my footsteps. They don't lead anywhere you want to go. I wish you & your girlfriend all the best.