ive been criticized for being so feminist so situations like this really bother me. what will she do if it didnt work and she has the kid? does she not have insurance or something?

and if she is worried about being called names nd having doctors look down on her she shouldnt be. theyre there to help, not to condemn. and most of them feel the same way about it - better safe than sorry. they would rather her come in for it to be done correctly than to do that and possibly injur herself permanently or even die. im not trying to scare you it just really worries me that in 2008 this kind of thing is still happening.

have you ever seen the movie "if these walls could talk"? there is a portion of it in the 50's with demi moore that deals with this exact subject. i really hope shes okay but if you cant convince her to go, its up to her now. all you can do is be there for her. dont be so adamant about going to a doctor that she doesnt feel she can go to you for support. if she chooses not to go then thats her decision and all you can do now is be there when she needs you. shes lucky to have such a caring friend like you but when someone is in this kind of situation they see caring as anger not concern. maybe if you approach her in a manner thats more like "even if you don't go im still here for you" she might be more likely to calm down and listen to the facts y'know? good luck to both of you.