It's a good place to start to be honest ..being disillusioned with life . Pardon my negativity , but generally there isn't a safety net . Decisions aren't easy and can affect your future . I'm not really the right person to be replying to your first post . My hero Skee is normally lurking around looking for first posters . Giving them links to check out and writing kind good sense and making them feel welcome .but anyway , I read your post , I might be wrong , but it sounds like your faith and confidence has been shattered by events . You have achieved things , in business , and also manning up and paying off your debts . You have a solid base to build from . Given time your confidence and direction will return ... just wait for Skee , he Skee will know what to say .