i can't seem to shake this endless cycle. doesn't it ever go away???? every 6 to 15 days or so something bad happens that makes me have an emotional meltdown and I want more than anything than to end it. the only thing that saves me is that i'm afraid to end it in the usual ways such as for my own weird reasons the only way i'll do it is to go to the forest to be with nature and die of starvation but that takes time. i just love the nature people and hate humans soooooooooooooooooooooooo much including myself

i don't have a therapist but dont think any medicine could help. doesn't this cycle ever end? every time i keep hoping that will be the last time. it's like clockwork. just waiting for the next dreadful painful explosion