I am so sorry. I have gone through that too. The things that stop me are my husband and daughter. If I didn't have them, I don't know where I'd be with it. When it happens, do you have a support system and someone to talk to? Even later, is there anyone? Or someone you can text? I texted with one of my sisters during a horrible, long-lasting panic attack verging on a total meltdown, and it helped me calm down a little.
Even writing a post on here, even if you type it and don't post it might help.