I know that this is pretty typical, but you guys seem really understanding.

For context, I am an artist and student.

Every time my career advances and I'm doing well in school, my down mood stunts it all.

It's almost like for each step I take I have to stop and catch my breath.

This frustrates me because I think of all the things I could have already accomplished had my brain not been wired this way. In this day and age, especially, it is hard to take things slowly when you're trying to build a creative career for yourself. There are moments when I wish I wasn't alive.

I was thinking of applying for government aid, but I'm not sure whether or not I am debilitated enough to qualify. I'm afraid to ask my psychiatrist.

It just makes me want to kill myself. And - for lack of a better word - it's inconvenient.

Anyway, please share your experience as well. Do you feel like your career or studies are stunted?