Well you might be in the wrong job , who would know ? Look at this process of a forum , you write down your feelings in a short group of words , then know it all's like myself give you throw away advise without properly knowing you , or really having any insight into your struggles ....what could go wrong huh

Maybe this isn't the job for you , maybe you just have too high an expectation of what this job can achieve in regards to your happiness .
I've been reading about the Cinderella Syndrome us self entitled westerners can suffer from . We actually believe we should be happy all the time . This pursuit of happiness and fulfilment actually contribute to us always being sad and miserable , as it's an unrealistic expectation . Probably I'm not the best person to throw my two cents in about work . My story is I have worked long and hard for 40 years , for most of that I just did it without question , not asking if I should feel any joy . It was an exchange of goods and services . I gave them a decent portion of my life . For that they gave me a stack of money . The stack of money is necessary to live a life . It's not a calling , it's not a passion . It's a means to an end . ...ok that was just gibberish huh , no help to you at all , but I'm not a quitter , I'll see if I can fail at helping with the second part of your post .
Life . It's such an unlikely thing that you and I are exchanging ideas on this forum . What are the chances of us both being on this rock , experiencing being alive ? Of all the sperm and eggs that were fertilised and succeeded or failed in living over the centuries . Somehow we lucked out and are here . It may not be a gift this life , but it's a rare privilege to be doing it , not something to just discount or throw away . What is happiness after all ? Is it really achievable by wanting things to make you happy ? , or is it a better path to lower our expectations and be happy with what we have ? To have fewer wants , to have fewer expectations .... I have no idea , I'm still trying to work it out myself .
I hope you can find some peace .