Hello FD: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

Gee... I sort-of feel as though I should have some great wisdom to impart here. Sadly I don't know as I do. I do think I perhaps have some understanding of your situation. I'm an old man now. And way back when, when I went to college, everyone said: oh... just go to college. It doesn't matter what you study. You'll be set for life. So I went to college. First I was an English major, then philosophy & then American studies. (I didn't really care about any of it.) I was in-&-out of school (flunked out once.) But I somehow eventually managed to stumble my way through & graduate with a load of debt & a degree that wasn't worth the paper it was printed on! Along the way I happened to get an entry level job working in human services. And that led to me getting a masters degree in the field. (It also added to my load of debt & I still wasn't in love with what I was doing. But at least I now had a degree in something that I could use to find more than dead-end entry-level employment.)

The one thing I have learned in life is that nothing happens unless you make it happen. And I think a lot of it is just a matter of going along & doing whatever presents itself as an opportunity at the time. My personal opinion is that worrying about trying to find something you're passionate about is, by-&-large, asking for trouble. Yes, I guess there are a few lucky people who manage somehow to set themselves up to where they are able to spend their lives doing something they love & supporting themselves doing it. And if a person can do that, it's certainly wonderful. But I think, for most of us, we just sort-of end up doing the best we can given whatever opportunities life presents us.

The good news here is you're still in your early 30's. (That's still looks pretty darned young from my vantage point.) And you have an Associates Degree. (I don't know, of course, what type of school you received the degree from. That may make a difference.) But what I would think would make sense here is to start by checking into what options may be available to you in terms of building on the degree toward a bachelor's degree (& beyond?) You mentioned you're on the east coast. So wherever you're located, start making some contacts with colleges in your area. You probably want to look primarily at state colleges rather than private institutions to keep the cost down. Meet with some academic advisors. See what they can suggest & what types of scholarships might be available. Look at the various courses of study each college has to offer. As you look at what's available, what the costs are, etc. you may begin to perceive a path for yourself. (Of course, at the same time, you can also be keeping your eyes open for new & better employment opportunites that might be available to you without additional education.) Either way... will what you find be your end-all dream job? Perhaps not. But it will be a pathway forward. And you never know. By following whatever path forward you find, you may just unexpectedly stumble onto something wonderful you would not have found otherwise! In the end, what's important here, it seems to me, is to start moving forward. The fact you are moving forward may well be as important, or perhaps more-so, than how you're going about it.

The bottom line here, if seems to me, is nothing of consequence is likely to happen for you driving people around in your car & wondering how it all went wrong. As I wrote above, nothing is likely to happen for you unless you make it happen. But if all of this just seems too overwhelming for you to even contemplate, then perhaps you have to consider the possiblity that the things that have happened to you & your family in the past have caused you to fall into a level of clinical depression that is inhibiting you from moving forward. And, in that case, you may want to consider seeking some mental health services (therapy presumably) to help you address your depression & find ways to manage & perhaps even reverse it.

There is a song I've sometimes linked members here to that is, I believe, apropos. It is from the time of the communist revolution in China. Here's the link to folk singer John McCutcheon performing "Step-by-Step" on YouTube. I suggest you make it your mantra:



And then here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of what to do when you feel lost or empty:

When You Feel Lost

When You Feel Empty: What It Means & What to Do

Feel Like A Lost Soul? Taking Steps To Find Yourself Again | The Therapist Within

So, You're Lost? The Advice You'd Never Expect

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/nlp/2...ike-a-failure/

My best wishes to you...