I said goodbye to my old therapist today. I brought a beautiful flower arrangement for her and she seemed touched. She gave me a kiss on each of my cheeks and later a hug. She is Turkish. She didn't regularly hug or kiss me, but weeks back grabbed me in a bear hug saying she couldn't help herself. She asked afterwards if I minded, and I said no. I had never been hugged by a therapist before, and until her, never would have wanted to be. She said that in Turkey it's not odd at all, but knows many American therapists are less inclined to be affectionate in that way and patients sometimes don't like it.

The truth is, though I am an affectionate person, it's really only with my husband and pet. I am occasionally affectionate with my siblings, but mostly only on special occasions. My dad and I usually hug when I say goodbye, and any affection with other relatives was always reserved for holidays. My mother was very affectionate, and I can't remember too many times I didn't hug her, other than some days as a teen. This therapist has reminded me of my mother from the earliest sessions I had with her. She's been an outstanding psychologist, but perhaps the transference wasn't ideal for a long-term client-therapist relationship. I had only been seeing her for 6 months before she was forced to move her practice far away.

I told my psychiatrist how sad I am that I will lose this therapist, but said that I look at her as a very special person in my life who was only meant to be short-term. I told him that she was almost like a little birdy (representing my mom) who came to me to finally end my grieving process. I believe this! Right now as I write this I am not crying, but rather smiling at the thought that someone as special as her visited my life to tell me that I'm OK and am doing well.