I am sorry to hear that you are having family problems. I can empathise with you that male family members seem to be unable to recognise the trauma they suffered and accept their behaviour.

You are not a problem Red Daisy. It is so hard for us when triggered because our normal assertive selves cannot function. We either freeze or fight, neither helpful or constructive. I guess writing a letter could be an idea, if you feel it could work? Expressing our feelings to help them understand, can help but also leaves us open to family gossip, so its a fine margin.

If they are like my father, then it won't work.

I hate it when other people trigger me and my days are taken up processing the hurt. Much love and best wishes to you.