Hi everyone! I'm new in this forum site, and this will be my first post since I'm searching for answers about my issues.

To begin with, I'm an independent person since child (I'm 27 years old now) . My father worked overseas for 20 years, therefore my mother is usually busy attending to household needs. I grew up without the comfort of a father to attend my own personal needs. My older brother is 8 years older than me, so we don't have a very close relationship and we usually don't do brotherly things like going out to play etc. Outside our home, I have no luck finding real friends. Right now I only have a handful of friends, mostly from my workplace. I never had a close relationship with my fellow classmates before until I graduated college.

Due to these circumstances, I tend to do all things alone. I solve my problems alone, travel alone, shop and buy things alone etc. I enjoy the company of myself. I never asked help from my family. I never asked my few friends to help me. In fact, I'm shutting myself off from others just to do things on my own. Maybe if I build strong trust with them, I'll definitely share my concerns now.

Nowadays, i feel like I'm devoid of any emotions or empathy. I think if some of my family members will die, it will be just a normal event to me. As long as I'm living comfortably, I don't care what will happen to others. I also feel that I'm not capable of loving a woman seriously. I never had a relationship. When I tried to court some women, it feels like nothing will happen on this relationship. I never experienced to console someone with their problems, let alone to emphatize with them.

I don't know if I'm suppressing my memories, but I strongly believe that I was sexually molested by a teenage boy at the age of 5, because the picture in my mind is too vivid. Did this experience contribute to my self imposed loner and independent attitude? Also, I experienced bullying in high school, that's why I don't associate myself with them.

I hope someone can enlighten me here Thank you for reading my concerns.